May 20, 2024
Jan 11, 2024
Bringing Baby to the Dojang
The number one thing about bringing baby to the dojang that I want my Sabum-moms to understand is: No, you cannot just strap your baby on in a baby carrier and teach class like normal. If you are a mom, you are probably shaking your head at me and thinking, "Well, duh." But listen, I was at the dojang every day until I went to give birth and imagined that I could totally just jump back in. First of all, I will have another post about postpartum recovery soon. It's a tough one to write. But know that your body will need a hot minute (a year minimum) to recover and you deserve that.
Anyway, let's jump into the realities of bringing baby to the dojang. As always, please note that everyone's experience is different and I just want to share what I've learned. Included at the end is a download link for a quick checklist of items I recommend you have on hand at the dojang. Hot tip: you can include these items on your registry or look for them at secondhand shops before baby arrives. This post also includes some Amazon affiliate links to products that have really helped me on this Sabum-mom journey.
This a longer post, so here are the different sections if you want to jump straight to one:
MAIN CONSIDERATIONS
I have boiled it down to three main considerations for baby at the dojang. This is also for baby before they can walk. My son started walking at 11 months and his first birthday is THIS WEEK!! He falls down a lot and has bruises on his butt, but he prefers walking to crawling now.
There MUST be a dedicated caretaker for baby at the dojang.
Not everyone works a 9-5 and that is OKAY. Even stay-at-home moms and working moms that end work earlier feel mom guilt about their hours, so make the best of yours at the dojang.
Babies CRY. Figure out your stance on this and consider how much judgment and concern from others you are willing to take.
DEDICATED CARETAKER
Remember I said earlier that you can't just wear your baby and teach class? This is because even after an established schedule, that schedule might not match your working schedule. Especially BEFORE baby has any schedule, they will eat and nap and need diaper changes randomly. Well, it will seem very random to your frazzled, sleep-deprived brain. I used the Huckleberry app for the three month free trial and had great results predicting Bairre's nap windows. But he is an easygoing baby and not all babies are like that. Anyway, here are some insights into how it is for us:
DAYCARE + DOJANG SITUATION
For our family, we use daycare, especially since my husband has a separate career and we can afford it. I am an older mom (31), so I have an established career and solid student base. I still feel mom guilt, but if I put on my cold hard business glasses, this is actually pretty great because I can still spend time with Bairre and focus on taking care of my team and students. Also, Bairre gets to socialize and learn from watching older babies.
Right now, I spend mornings with Bairre and drop him off at daycare around noon on my way to work. Sometimes I drop him off in the morning for full day care if I have a lot of errands or if I need a recovery day. By the way, it's worth mentioning that for babies at most daycares, you pay full rate whether your baby is there part-time or full-time. So yes, we are paying full rate for Bairre even though most days he goes for half the day. It's worth it for us.
Anyway, after I drop off baby, I go to the dojang and can focus on work. Dad picks him up from daycare and spends evenings with him. By the time I get home, Bairre is asleep and Mama and Papa Bear unwind before bed. Then we spend as much weekend time as possible together as a family.
My plan when Bairre gets older is to take him to preschool in the morning, then pick him up and try bringing him to the dojang. Pricing for daycare decreases the older your child gets, so if it doesn't work out and I can't focus enough on work, we will still use full day care until he's old enough to just hang out with our After School students. But more on that when we get there.
If you are a younger parent and have grandparents nearby, thank them a LOT. We ask halmuni (Korean for grandmother) to watch Bairre sometimes when he is sick or Owen is out of town on a business trip, but she cannot watch him every day. This is because both she and I are both older parents, so it's hard on her to watch Bairre every day. Especially now that he is getting heavier and more mobile. For better or worse, you cannot control when you find the right person to start a family with and sometimes your pregnancy journey may take longer than you'd like. Then you end up with older grandparents. I think this is the advantage of being a younger parent - you are more likely to have younger grandparents. However, like I mentioned, being older parents also has the advantage of (hopefully) a more well-established and higher-paid career. Either way, you can make it work.
DOJANG ONLY SITUATION
If you plan NOT to use daycare or grandparents and want to bring your baby every day, count yourself out of normal operations. You can be there to manage and supervise, but unless you're handing off that kiddo to someone else, you will not really be able to teach class. Also, once baby has a regular bedtime, you will need to leave early to get to bedtime, or your partner needs to pick baby up if they do not work at the dojang. I'm assuming here that like most dojangs, you are teaching class until 8 or 9 pm. If you are reading this pre-pregnancy or during pregnancy, PREPARE AHEAD OF TIME. Get your black belts ready, offer free tuition for helping, whatever you need to do to get the extra teaching staff you need to cover for your absence. And plan for not just your 2-3 month immediate post-partum recovery, but also for months afterwards.
Granted, you do what you have to do. If you are one of two instructors at your dojang, you will still have to teach. This is where your tolerance for crying comes in. Especially before four months, you should try and respond right away to baby crying. This will not always be possible, but I hope you feel some comfort in knowing that studies show that even with 30% of needs met, babies can develop a healthy attachment and have the foundation for healthy future relationships. That means, even if you only can figure out and resolve baby's crying 30% of the time, they will be fine, and I'm sure most of ya'll will bat above 30%.
However, while YOU might theoretically be fine with baby crying, there may be parents who judge you. Including (and poignantly for me) your own parents, if they work at the dojang. So, keep that in mind and figure out what you're willing to endure. For example, I've tried holding targets with Bairre in hand when he was fussy and couldn't handle being left alone. Video for reference below, and yes, he was safe the whole time and earlier before I took the video, he was laughing with delight. I felt confident and made sure I held for older students who wouldn't miss the target, but I know there would be way too much judgment to do this on a regular basis.
Some other considerations:
The dojang is not generally a quiet place. It is full of kihaps and target pops and many distractions for your baby. If your baby is constantly exposed to this, hopefully they should get used to it. But, if you bring baby only occasionally, they will not be used to it.
Older babies recognize and reject strangers. When Bairre was younger, he basically accepted anybody with a bottle. But since he doesn't come that often, he doesn't take kindly to being handed off anymore. Theoretically, if you are bringing baby all the time, try to get him used to one or two other people besides yourself, such as your secretary or another instructor.
Speaking of bottles, try to get baby okay with a bottle AND nipple if you are breastfeeding. It's definitely easier to hand off baby if needed if they are okay with both breast and bottle.
The kids will want to interact with baby. I set strict rules in the beginning about washing hands before touching baby, and you will need to coach the students on how to play gently with your baby if you want to allow it. Babies love older kids, so sometimes it's nice to have the kids distract Bairre while I take care of something. He will begin crying after a few minutes when he realizes I'm not there, but that's generally all you need to go to the bathroom or run out the room to take care of something really quick. However, HE becomes a distraction to them when I need them to train, so keep that in mind also!
DOJANG BABY CHECKLIST
The link below will let you download the quick checklist. However, explanations for each of the items can be found below, so that you get why it's on the list. Then you can decide whether it fits your needs. Also, this list also assumes that even if you have a diaper bag equipped generally, the dojang will have backups on backups so that you are not caught unprepared.
I actually use two diaper bags. This beautiful Freshly Picked one is what we use on a regular basis. It has SO many great pockets and can hold everything we need. Then, I keep this cute Skip Hop one at the dojang.
Remember, if you don't feel comfortable putting double of items on your baby registry, consider a secondhand shop or parent friends whose kids have just outgrown the baby stage. They will be eager to get ride of the items because having kids means endless clutter.
FEEDING
This really depends on if you are exclusively breastfeeding, but it's really nice to be able to hand off your baby to someone with a bottle.
If you are exclusively doing breastmilk, have a stash ready for the freezer or fridge. I like these disposable freezer bags since I drop off bags at daycare. I realize now there are reusable silicone bags, and I think I would consider them next time.
If you are bringing baby infrequently, have bottles of liquid pre-made formula because powder goes bad if you don't use it within a month PLUS you need to have boiled water on hand to mix it with. ALSO, don't bother getting a huge bottle and thinking you can use it for a long time. Once you open that bottle, it should be consumed within 24 hours. And then one hour only if baby has drunk from it. Below is a cheat sheet for milk safety guidelines. It feels very daunting at first, but you memorize it pretty quickly. HOT TIP: Similac has less packaging than Enfamil.
Pre-made formula can get expensive!! We normally use Kirkland powder formula. I like to use a formula dispenser with pre-measured scoops instead of using the big box, because sometimes you're in a rush because baby is crying and you are doing things one-handed. It's great for travel and once you are done with formula at 1 years old, it can be used as a snack container. The two I use are:
Munchkin formula dispenser, which is MUCH easier to clean, but kind of a pain to pour into a bottle with a smaller opening. It goes well with these silicone bottles (not plastic, yay!)
Termichy stackable dispenser, which is a PAIN to clean and dry, but much easier to pour by swirling the container into our Dr. Brown bottles. By the way, everyone recommends the Dr. Brown bottles to prevent colic, but what they don't tell new parents is PLEASE GET THIS DISHWASHER INSERT TO MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER. There are SO many parts. We have that Dr. Brown specific one AND a generic one for our Nanobebe bottles. By the way, I am not assuming you have a dishwasher at the dojang nor am I recommending you get one. I'm saying get these so you can wash the bottles at home!
Burp cloths!! Babies spit up a LOT and also will spill a lot in the beginning since they are still learning how to drink. This will happen whether you do bottle or breastfeeding. I like these ones in the Neptune color, so it's darker and gets less gross. But basically it's a very common product, so any muslin burp cloth will do. Baby's skin is very sensitive in the beginning, so these will be a safer and more sustainable option than paper towels.
Cleaning supplies: a big bowl (so that baby's stuff doesn't touch the sink), a bottle brush, dish soap, and a drying towel are good to have just in case. I haven't needed to use it since I bring extra clean bottles, but maybe baby and you are at the dojang longer than expected and you need a clean bottle.
Snacks/solids when ready: Easy solids I like to bring are bananas, teething crackers, and Korean sweet potato. When baby is eating mostly solids, you will have to balance nutritious foods that have more protein vs. more mess. For spoon feeding, I absolutely love the BusyBaby bib. I had a huge headache teaching him how to use the spoon because he would throw it on the ground constantly. Now he can't, aha!!!
THE OTHER END
Diapers, of course. Consider a size up when you can tell baby is about to grow out of their current size. Bairre pretty much moved up a size every 1-2 months until size 5, which he has been using since 9 months or so.
Wipes: great for not just wiping poop, but also wiping hands and face after eating food. At home, we use wet burp cloths, but the dojang gets busy and you don't got time for that.
Changing pad: Who already has a changing table at the dojang? We do not, so I just put Bairre on a table with a changing pad and get to work. Or, I use the couch in our office. I love this Skip Hop one and clipped on a doggie poop bag dispenser.
Diaper cream: baby's skin is sensitive!! Aquaphor will be one of your new best friends and please get the squeeze tube, trust me.
Spare clothing: have one or two outfits, preferably in one size up from your current size, because babies grow quickly and you may forget to restock the next size up if you don't need backup outfits that often...but then when you need it, you REALLY need it!
SLEEP
Pack and Play: These are one of the items that feel a little awkward to put two of on your registry. Also, there are SO many kinds. There are ones with bassinet inserts, organizers, sound machines attached, and even changing tables for when baby is smaller. If baby is not coming too often, just get one for $50-60 half-price at a secondhand shop. I actually got mine for free from a neighbor.
Sound machine: VERY important to mask some of the busy dojang noises. I really like the Dohm one because there are no annoying apps involved. Just flip the switch on and you're good to go.
Sleep sack: Remember that blankets are a SIDS hazard, so a wearable blanket is a good idea to keep baby cozy OR do warm pajamas instead. Bairre is super hot all the time, so he doesn't usually need extra coverings for day naps, but it's his routine to be in a sleep sack for nighttime sleep.
Blanket for lap sleeping: HOWEVER, baby might not be able to sleep in the pack and play and will only sleep in your lap. A breathable blanket is a good idea in this case so that your arm and baby's head don't turn into sweaty swamp city.
Darkness: Find some way to keep the sleeping room dim. Bairre is used to the routine at home and daycare of a dimmer room for naps.
OTHER/BONUS
Toys for entertainment: people will get you all sorts of toys. They are nice. Bairre likes them okay, but also he just likes playing with water bottles and cardboard boxes, of which there are many at the dojang. I think the important thing is deciding what you are okay with baby putting into their mouth.
Baby carrier: the full baby carrier, like the Baby Bjorn, is good for hands free movement and baby may also fall asleep in it, especially when they are younger. I often would walk around with the Baby Bjorn until Bairre fell asleep, then transfer him to the crib/pack and play. When he got old enough to sit up, however, I really loved the Tush hip carrier because I could put him up and down with ease, although I do sacrifice one arm in order to use it.
A practice seat/seat for eating is good to have to minimize mess and keep baby put in one place.
A jumper/activity center is also a good to have item to occupy baby, but keep in mind that it is not recommended to keep baby in a jumper for more than 20 minutes a day TOTAL. It is bad for their physical development. We got this Skip Hop one for half-price at Once Upon a Child and used it only for a month or two because Bairre got bored of it and preferred to crawl or walk around.
A foldable picnic blanket is good to keep baby off the dirty floor for when baby is younger. At this point with Bairre, I just let him crawl on the mats without any cover. He needs to get germ exposure somehow, and he gets exposure at daycare anyway so a few extra germs will be fine.
Tylenol or ibuprofen or pain medication you hopefully don't need, but when you need it, YOU NEED IT. So having it stocked beforehand will give you peace of mind. Don't forget the syringe to administer the correct dose according to your pediatrician.
Super stretch goal: a baby cam. Honestly, though, you will most likely hear baby or a student will hear baby and let you know ASAP if baby is crying. I guess this more depends on how big your dojang is and if the office/baby sleep area is very far from the mats.
Thank you for reading and let me know if you'd like in-depth coverage on any other topics!
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